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I have been friends with a woman, a person who's overcome many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her husband ended their marriage, which came as a huge shock. Many of her friends drifted away during that time, because they seemed drawn to her husband. This surprised her deeply. She made more effort toward our bond, probably grasped more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many of her friends have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, she departed not understanding the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing each other more, but I am finding my position in our friendship is as the audience. I start discussion points and she changes conversation onto what interests her. In terms of politics, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information and alternate views.

She has been planning a vacation abroad I've visited on several occasions and lived in previously. My intention was to offer advice, but this was unappreciated. She really solely sought my agreement with her decisions. I have come back from 30 days there she hopes to catch up, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the impact of her actions on my confidence. At this point, my state is pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, however, that approach is rarely the easy answer we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of working things out demands strength and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step involves describing the usual pattern when you talk. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like exactly what occurs. The second involves sharing how this makes you feel. This allows for no disagreement on this point. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. The third step involves requesting ways you together can shift the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, so you need to remain ready to hear that. A helpful technique is to say to the other person:

"Now you talk and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's remarkably effective in fostering understanding.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject all you say, since certain individuals hold onto a deep-seated story: they maintain a version of their life they won't abandon as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all they've known. This is difficult because there's no easy route in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could initially present like this before reflecting about what you've said. And should you never reach an agreement, it provides satisfaction from having been truthful.